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It’s that time of year again when we all romanticize shopping for backpacks, binders, pencil cases and graphing calculators. I don’t miss school, and definitely not homework, but it did take me a long while after college graduation to adjust to life without a regular grading of my performance. As a fairly good student these were usually ego boosts and how was I supposed to know if I was succeeding at life without grades!? I still do tend to grade myself, a tendency I need to break. What use is giving my Tuesday a D+ Needs Improvement!? I’m my own boss damn it!
Anyway in trying to find a hook for today’s shelf all about magical classrooms, I was reminiscing about some of my own offbeat classes of yore like the time in homeschool where my Mom1 had me learn about history and culture through the American Girl Doll Kirsten. I did a presentation about the Swedish St Lucia’s day which meant that she made me a costume, headdress and the St. Lucia Buns that I then handed out to the family. What I learned from this homework, besides that my mother commits hard and is an expert seamstress, I couldn’t tell you. In my one year of American public school2 it took me a bit to realize that my computer teacher was referring to herself in the third person when she said “Mrs Cox wants you to turn on your computers now”. We mostly just played Oregon Trail in that class which really prepared me for life because now I never shoot more buffalo than I can eat. In my international school in Budapest a Romanian teacher ‘taught’ Hungarian Culture by making my dear Hungarian friend3 talk about Hungarian things whenever he was too lazy to teach himself. When she finally put her foot down and refused, he wormed out of teaching again by making us ‘play’4 with Rubik's Cubes every class because they were ‘invented by a Hungarian’. This lasted until I got everyone in class to sign a petition that put an end to it. In college I took Aerobic Walking which meant I held little 3 lb weights as I hoofed it around an indoor track listening to my roommate’s iPod that I think only contained The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Also in college was the Gen Ed requirement Foundations of Christian Thought where we were taught about erogenous zones and were assigned to watch the movie Gattaca. Weird times.
Today’s shelf has titles that combine the hallmarks of dark academia with fantasy and are full of enigmatic mentors, presumptuous youths, complicated languages, shadowy passageways and arcane coursework focused on the dangerous and dark side of magic. Grab your wands, don your cloaks and dust off your spell books as you attend to one of these stories of magic schools that go to eleven.
A DEADLY EDUCATION by Naomi Novik
To graduate from the Scholomance you must first survive the Scholomance. This murderous institution is without teachers, breaks or mercy as its students learn the magical arts while avoiding a seemingly endless variety of monsters that attack when you least expect it. Constant vigilance! Friendless and fine with it, Galadriel5 ‘El’ has the unique problem of being a prophesied evil sorceress and so power comes easily for her though abusing that power could result in some dire consequences for the rest of humanity causing her instincts and morality to constantly battle it out. When her life is saved one too many times by the absurdly heroic Orion Lake and she discovers something that makes the school even more dangerous than usual, El must embark on her most risky and perilous adventure yet: friendship.
This is in first person so we’re inside El’s extremely introverted and focused internal monologue, getting a front seat to her wry, biting narration of the nonsense surrounding her that could feel frustratingly rambling to some readers. It took me a few chapters to ‘get’ the tone, world and plot but it is very much worth it to continue if you feel the same. El is rude and prickly while Orion is a sweet dope so their bumbling along provides endless entertainment with grumpy/sunshine dynamics.
This is surprisingly funny and tender for a story about a school devouring teenagers; the pithy voice still holds emotional weight especially as El leans more and more into her human side. The world building works though it took me a bit to really grasp because there are a fair few vocabulary words and descriptions to adequately place readers in this ruthless environment. It doesn’t ever read YA though all of our scrappy characters are teens and the writing is terrific because Naomi Novik is terrific.6 Exciting, suspenseful and scary, though never graphic, this has light romance but equally as delightful is El’s caustic humor, clever quips and broody attitude in the face of a growing cohort of friends.
This is the first in the Scholomance trilogy, followed by The Last Graduate and The Golden Enclaves. The third one didn’t land as strong for me; I wasn’t as much of a fan of its character work and it got a bit repetitive and long. But it did deliver a satisfying conclusion overall that I was entirely happy with.
I love all the covers, they are beautiful especially all together.
“I decided that Orion needed to die after the second time he saved my life.”
THE MAGICIANS by Lev Grossman
Seventeen year old Quentin Coldwater has long harbored a love for the children’s fantasy books, Fillory and Further, a Narnia-like series following the lively Chatwin siblings as they discover a magical land and go on grand adventures. When he is offered a place at Brakebills College for Magical Pedagogy and learns that magic is real, his next five years of schooling look much different than he originally envisioned. Quentin makes friends and enemies as he gains power and knowledge while hints of dark, mysterious forces at work in himself, his world and in other realities grow. When the real world’s mundanity begins to break him and a discovery allows him access to the real Fillory, Quentin is again confronted by an imaginary world made literal along with the very real consequences of his decisions as he learns that magic can be twisted into something terrifying and expectations and reality do not always align.
This is the first in a trilogy, followed by The Magician King and The Magician’s Land and, though I read them a fair bit ago now, I remember enjoying all of them. There are many unique, creative takes on classic magic school shenanigans with some coming of age themes and a definite ‘never meet your heroes’ vibe. Quentin is no Kvothe or Harry; he isn’t exceptionally charming or sympathetic and can get pretty exasperating. Though intelligent, he is also incredibly stupid and often basic making him a messy, layered hero that ultimately does have a strong arc over the course of the trilogy, so I urge you to stick it out if he initially irks you. We also get a Hermione-esque heroine which is probably what kept me reading. This is packed, well paced and its tone grows darker as the college years go by. Purposefully, its energy can shift sharply from fun and silly to shocking and gruesome as the students deal with powers and dimensions they are not educated nor mature enough to adequately deal with. There are a few memorably chilling scenes as this combines the thrill and horror of a dream coming true before turning into an exhilarating and monstrous nightmare.
We’ve got elements of Hogwarts, Narnia and classic fantasy but they get twisted, morphed and intensified here. There is a specific scene with Reynard the trickster fox god, in I think the second book, that still haunts me.7 Though ugliness abounds, so does beauty, creativity, love and friendship and I remember everything wrapping up neatly. I enjoyed the mystical academic setting inside a modern context and the wry allusions to its own inspirations aren’t too heavy handed, they add to the realism and the nods are fun. The interplay of petty, personal dynamics alongside broader fantastical adventures is consistently amusing and suspenseful keeping you invested and turning pages.
This cover does nothing for me and there’s a tv show but I don’t care about it.
They were going to make him a magician and all he had to do was sign? Jesus, what the hell was he thinking? Of course he was going to sign. This was everything he always wanted, the break he’d given up on years ago. It was right in front of him. He was finally on the other side, down the rabbit hole, through the looking glass. He was going to sign the papers and he was going to be a motherfucking magician. Or what the hell else was he going to do with his life?
VITA NOSTRA by Marina Dyachenko and Sergey Dyachenko, translated by Julia Meitov Hersey
When Sasha encounters a mysterious man and is able to fulfill his nonsensical request, she is required to begin her education at the Institute of Special Technologies. If she refuses or fails, her family will pay the ultimate price. As she stumbles through inconceivably complex classes that require almost inhuman competence, Sasha must work through her fear, her weakness and the constraints of body, mind and physics if she is going to graduate and keep her loved ones safe.
Gotta be honest here, this is the most stressful read of my life. I actually had to take a break for a few days because the stakes, rules and bleak situations felt so inescapable. That said, it is excellent, unforgettable and goes to some truly bizarre places. This mind-bending ‘magic’ school deals in the esoteric, philosophical and existential aspects of reality8 as the students begin to lose parts of their sanity and selves in their quest for knowledge and a passing grade. The Institute is not quaint, heart warming, charming or comfortable and its classes feel like something out of Alice in Wonderland at times; nonsensical, impossible and maddening. The plot is deliciously disconcerting and, while there are intriguing supporting characters, this one isn’t an ensemble like the others. Sasha is almost completely on her own and the sheer intensity of her situation endears us to her more than her specific characteristics. The language here is of particular importance so I’m exhausted just thinking about what a task this must have been to translate.
I thought this was a standalone but its sequel, The Assassin of Reality, came out a few years ago and is in my library queue9. I haven’t been brave enough to start it yet, but I will. someday. for sure. don’t worry about it.
This cover is eerie and unsettling so perfectly apt for this book.
“This institution of higher education had no such concept as mercy.”
From previous newsletters
The Name of the Wind10 could sort of fit on today’s shelf as the main character attends The University, but that isn’t the entire setting and especially not in its sequel, The Wise Man’s Fear.
Have you read any of these? What magic school books or series do you recommend to read or to avoid? What were your oddest classes?
aka our teacher
fifth grade
hello N! xoxox
that can’t be the right word
yes she is aware, and not happy about it
she’ll be appearing on a future shelf again soon
shudder
instead of spells, wands and curses
from the fantasy: powerful pupils shelf
I always feel so accomplished when I’ve actually read all three books you recommend 😆
I had suuuuch mixed feelings about The Magicians. I really liked the world, a lot of the ideas, the writing, etc. but I had such a hard time with the main protagonists. I’m all for flawed leads that need the grow, but him and his group of friends (minus Hermoine) drove me f’ing nuts. I think it was their entitlement? It’s been so many years, but my disdain was strong enough that I never read the rest of the series.
Naomi4eva, loves this take on a magical school.
Vita Nostra was so fantastic and also yes probably the most stressful fiction I’ve ever read. I want to read the sequel but I would need to reread the first and I just don’t know if I have it in me?!? I still think about the ending regularly (and am flabbergasted).