princess diaries
we could put it together...together
The closest I’ve come to royalty was dressing up as Guinevere for a friend’s birthday party when I was maybe eight years old. The parents had created a sort of cardboard fortress1 complete with a lowered drawbridge to allow the miniature knights and princesses bearing gifts inside for ice cream and cake. First Knight. 2 What an interesting theme for a kid’s birthday party. Sources tell me that modern day birthday themes are: Pokémon, football and “rainbow unicorn”. Oh! I was also super obsessed with King Henry VIII in elementary school. I fixated on all those wives and their tragic ends3 so much that I had a coloring book of their portraits4 so I could look for Anne Boleyn’s alleged sixth finger myself.5 I did not find it.
That over achieving Arthurian birthday party was the last time I ever wanted to be a princess. It seems like…a lot as we’ve all witnessed in modern monarchy not to mention throughout history. Especially for the womenfolk. Though I don’t harbor queenly dreams, I’m captivated by their stories. There’s palpable tension inherent within stories about royalty- all those political machinations, assassination attempts, flouted expectations, forbidden loves and divine rights. Today I humbly submit a few options for the next time you are craving castles, crowns and control.
Put down your orb, throw on a cape and pull up a throne as you pledge the fealty of your attention to one of these.
THE FORCE OF SUCH BEAUTY by Barbara Bourland
Caroline (injured Olympic marathoner) meets Finn (secret prince) at an exclusive recovery center and eventually their whirlwind romance culminates with her becoming the princess of a small European country (think Monaco) in the early 2000s. As the monarchy exerts more and more control over her life, she realizes that her beauty, naiveté, media expertise and ability to follow a strict regimen has played into their long game. I loved this excerpt from the official synopsis: “With a collar of pearls locked around her throat and a rope of diamonds leashing her to a balcony, Caroline uses her once-powerful body to smile, wave, and produce children with perfect grace.” To preserve any semblance of sanity or autonomy, she must find a way to escape their bejeweled clutches.
This had me from the first line and captured me for every page after. I relish a rich first person narration and this one is compelling, suspenseful and crazy-making. It is the anti-fairy tale, describing a outwardly glittering life that is slowly rotting inside as more and more freedoms are taken away from Caroline and her prince’s less than charming nature is unveiled. Vivid characters populate a skillfully built plot as the stakes become more and more visceral and we become suffocated alongside our princess. The diaristic voice created immediate empathy and the set pieces were consistently riveting, emotional and, at times, bizarre. I loved: the descriptions of gilded cages and bracelets as handcuffs imagery, the juxtaposition of wealth with confinement and the manipulative mind games crafting obedience. Be sure to google up some of the fascinating real life inspirations6 that the author notes.
Once you’ve read this, come chat with me about it because I loved the ending7 and want to discuss.
“All fairy tales serve the same purpose. One woman’s story, told to warn the others. Here is how I lost my feet; here is how I lost my voice; here is how I lost my children. Here is the moment I was given from my father to my husband. Here is where the danger lies: the man with the blue beard, the ogre in the forest, the tricky gentleman, the lying merchant, the prince in the tower. Fairy tales are not about sparkling shoes or white cats. They are about the ribbons that adorn, then sever, your neck.”
THE QUEENS OF INNIS LEAR by Tessa Gratton
Inspired by Shakepeare’s King Lear, this book follows three sisters, Gaela, Reagan and Elia, as they follow their own desires, passions and destinies in their quests for the throne. Each princess wields their own gifts and conflicts as they combine and clash in the political and natural spheres, seeking more than a crown as the fading wild magic of Innis Lear leaves them open to conquest from within and without.
Dark and witchy, this is a fantasy epic that follows each sister as they come to terms with their individual and combined power before a queen is chosen at the foretold ritual at the longest night of the year. Methodically character driven, this is overflowing with betrayal, ambition, love and all the ingredients needed to create an elemental magical atmosphere- alchemy, runes, prophecies, rituals and sorcery abound. As far as I remember only the broadest plot points are taken from the play8, so its sumptuous world building, precise character creation and magic system create something fully unique. I read this a bit ago now, but I remember loving the drama, both internal and external, of each princess and watching their furious scheming and plotting within a gloriously creepy and lushly gritty world. No passive damsels in distress here; these women are unapologetically themselves (for better and for worse) as they confront intense conflicts and choices while they fight, plan and cast for the future they each see as their own. I had mostly read YA fantasy before this and oof, I was in for a real ride jumping to adult here and it was probably the beginning of the end of my dissolution with the YA genre. 9
“A wild tree grew in her heart. Its roots wove throughout her guts, thick with worms of death and rebirth; it stretched its crown up into the bright, open space in her mind, where she worshipped the shining stars.”
THE SEVENTH VEIL OF SALOME by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
In 1950s Hollywood an unknown Mexican actress, Vera Larios, has been cast to play the seductive Salome in a big budget epic film while an ambitious extra, Nancy Hartley, seethes from the sidelines. While Vera and Nancy play and get played in the Golden Age of Hollywood, the actual Princess Salome (of dancing and demanding heads fame) attempts to rebuff her lot in life as an object of lust and pawn for control. When she falls in love with the meddlesome prophet Jokanaan/John the Baptist, her allegiances and plans become muddled as she navigates an ever-precarious political landscape within an ancient age of palaces and kings. Interspersed throughout these narratives are vignettes in the form of documentary talking heads foretelling a mysterious, tragic ending.
The combination of Hollywood and Herod’s kingdom wasn’t something I had on my literary bingo card, but it quickly became quite thought provoking as it kept me looking for similarities between the cultures, characters and how women were treated then and then10. Separated by so much, our three protagonists are still manipulated, glorified, objectified and used for the furtherance of power of the “man”, be it studio or be it king. The author’s note explains the thought process behind this juxtaposition: “it seemed appropriate, when looking at a mythical woman, to think about the place where women were made into myths”.
There’s so much fun stuff going on here. I loved the name dropping Hollywood trivia and the ancient political machinations intercut with the modern gossip magazine industrial complex. The characters are distinct and vivid, but we don’t get to know them too deeply. We know their broad strokes and witness how each deals with their various cages - being trapped by the currency of beauty and youth, constant demands to be innocent, demure and obedient while simultaneously conveying a seductive, mysterious, unattainable goddess for the masses to consume. The women are similar and also not as they play, wield, reject and accept the virgin/whore archetype that is often crowned upon celebrities- our modern substitutions for royalty. It was fun to ponder Vera and Nancy’s relation to Salome- do they represent the two sides of her character and how does violence unite and divide them? Their senses of ambition, desire, love, envy, revenge and most of all their concept of MINE thrusts the plot forward and careens readers towards the cinematic bloody finales.
Extra Credit: Moreno-Garcia created a companion Spotify playlist, take a listen.
“You are damnation, and yet I long to be damned”
What royal based books would you add? Read any of these? You know what to do:
who has time for this!?
what a film. i’ve been told as a kid i sleep walked downstairs and sat through the entire big battle scene with my parents before taking myself back up to bed. creepy af right?
divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived
i’m sensing a theme… (see my it’s all greek post)
especially princess charlene
almost choked because i gasped aloud so hard. reading can be dangerous kids
but remember, it is a tragedy
for some authors i will return, and there a few series i enjoy. but mostly, ya has no pull for me anymore.
and now?
Ooooo The Force of Such Beauty sounds like something I would for sure jump to. The others sound like a stretch to my norm, but I’m definitely intrigued. I’m especially captivated by the Hollywood/Herod combo.