day of the undead

boo!

Oct 29, 2024

I once spent the night in a 2ish1 star hotel in Sighișoara. You know Sighișoara, the town in Transylvania, Romania where Vlad the Impaler was from? Vlad the Impaler, of course, inspired Bram Stoker’s Dracula and his violent legacy is apparently a big tourist draw. I wish I remembered more of my stay in vampire town, but I only have vague impressions of a wide, red carpeted staircase, a sense of faded, dusty luxurious trappings with clunky brass keys and lit torches along the walls. I may have invented the torches…

In the summer of 2008, I lived with my grandmother in Nevada and was going out. of. my. mind. I was hot, bored, lonely and lived in a perpetual state of aggravation and disgust because she had three dogs.2 Needless to say I was desperate for entertainment and that is when the Twilight books found me. 3 Obviously they were not good books, but they were so insanely melodramatic and all encompassing that in my desperate state I gobbled them all up like I was Bella and they were a slushie cup full of blood. They were just so outrageous that, back at college, a group of us went to all the movies in theaters to make fun of them on the big screen much to the irritation of the other attendees. Have I already recounted the story of the audience member who sighed orgasmically (and quite loudly) “gorgeous, diamonds, all over his body” at her first glimpse of glittering mirrorball that was Edward Cullen in the sun? Anyway these movies are always good for a laugh and I’ve listened to the Breaking Dawn Part 1 and Part 2 How Did This Get Made? episodes multiple times; just can’t get enough of their commentary on the absolutely insanity of those movies and their trying to make sense of them.

In fantasy, lore and legend there’s many other kinds of undead creatures than just vampires, but they and werewolves have really taken over our pop culture. They come in and out of media fashion every few years, and while I love What We Do in the Shadows (the movie especially) am still waiting for news on We’re Wolves, I’m on the lookout for the less typical variations of these magical, mystical immortals. Perhaps from other cultures, mythologies and fairy tales like djinn or golems. Leave a comment if you’ve got any recs in that vein.4 Today’s books are not all vampires and werewolves though, we’ve got ghosts and an intriguing, undying tutor that will usher us through thin places into a world where a different set of rules apply.

In broad daylight, grab a crucifix and some garlic as you devour one of these.

THE WIDOW OF ROSE HOUSE by Diana Biller

The New York City social scene in 1875 is scandalized when the young widow Alva Webster arrives from Europe and dares show her face amongst civilized society. Gossip and rumors have followed her since she up and left her husband a few years earlier and now that he’s died, the stories have only grown more sordid. Stubborn and ambitious, Alva is determined to forge her own path and purchases an abandoned mansion with the intent to document and publish a book on its restoration and decoration. When her crew abruptly quits work, reporting strange and disturbing events, she must turn to Samuel Moore, a lauded professor and scientist who focuses on ‘metaphysical energies’. The longer they work together to discover the mystery of the house and its ghostly inhabitant, the more feelings develop between them. But there’s more that haunts the widow than just this ghost…

Sexy and exciting with just a few dashes of spookiness, this historical romance is rated Safe for the Skittish Reader. It has ghostly vibes and can be eerie and mildly unsettling, but never truly scary and doesn’t ever veer into horror. With dual POVs, we get a delightfully romantic build up with some light Mulder/Scully vibes as the no-nonsense and emotionally restrained Alva clashes with Sam, a disarmingly blunt, flirtatious, absent minded professor type determined to solve the mystery of the house and of her. I appreciated the ghost’s ultimate origin story, its motivations and it had some communication styles that I found creative and uniquely unnerving. The pseudo-science element was also fun, adding a whiff of steam-punk into the supernatural mix. Sam has a large, rambunctious family that counters Alva’s quiet, solitary life and those scenes were batty, energetic and charming as they embrace her like she’s Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping. A solid, enjoyable and quick read, though there were a few instances of head hopping which irked me.

“Mmm”, Alva said, walking around his equipment pile. “I suppose I wanted to keep an eye on you.”

“We scientists are pretty suspicious characters” he said. “You should probably use both eyes.”

“ Don’t flirt with me, Professor Moore.” she said, frowning at him. He loved when she frowned at him.

THE SOUTHERN BOOK CLUB’S GUIDE TO SLAYING VAMPIRES by Grady Hendrix

Patricia used to be a nurse but is now a wife and mother living in the quaint neighborhood of Mt. Pleasant in Charleston, South Carolina in the 90’s. However, her life feels far from pleasant as she deals with an ever expanding list of responsibilities combined with little appreciation from her aloof husband, bratty teenaged kids and a slowly deteriorating mother-in-law. Luckily she commiserates with her book club of fellow wives and mothers, where they don’t have much in common except their obsession with grisly, true crime books. When a magnetic, mysterious stranger moves into the neighborhood the women are energized and fascinated by his novelty. But, once strange and unsettling events begin, the book club wonders if they are inside a true crime story of their own. Would that it were so simple.

This book is absolutely terrific. The creepy-crawly creature work in this is unmatched and sometimes nauseating, but like in a good way? It has a couple of truly revolting5 scenes that are so horrifyingly mesmerizing, they’ve stuck with me for years.6 Patricia and the book club members are a marvelous set of characters. They each have their own backstory, quirks and personality that meld and clash in singular ways and each of them has their own arc and essential place in the plot. I loved watching their interactions, ups and downs and how they use their knowledge of domesticity, true crime and sisterhood to fight a monster.

I also loved the author’s note:

Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human-they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they're never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom.
As you'll see, it's not a fair fight.

Though a story about monstrous actions, there are truly human scenarios and emotions here along with incredible suspense, mystery within an electric genre mashup of southern gothic/bible belt/historical/domestic/paranormal thriller that ultimately celebrates those that are often ignored, forgotten or dismissed. It is also quite funny: the household conundrums, family squabbles and banter between the leads adds a much needed levity to the heaviness and gore and I cheered every time Southern hospitality was flouted or used for their own power plays. The voice, tone, pace and plot are all top notch so if you aren’t too skittish or squeamish, I highly recommend this one. A real ride of a book.

This story begins with five little girls, each born in a splash of her mother's blood, cleaned up, patted dry, then turned into proper young ladies, instructed in the wifely arts to become perfect partners and responsible parents, mothers who help with homework and do the laundry, who belong to church flower societies and bunco clubs, who send their children to cotillion and private schools.

You've seen these women. They meet for lunch and laugh loudly enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear. They get silly after a single glass of wine. Their idea of living on the edge is to buy a pair of Christmas earrings that light up. They agonize far too long over whether or not to order dessert.

As respectable individuals, their names will appear in the paper only three times: when they're born, when they get married, and when they die. They are gracious hostesses. They are generous to those less fortunate. They honor their husbands and nurture their children. They understand the importance of everyday china, the responsibility of inheriting Great-Grandmother's silver, the value of good linen.

And by the time this story is over, they will be covered in blood.

Some of it will be theirs. Some of it will belong to others.

THE FAMILIAR by Leigh Bardugo

Because Luzia lives in Madrid during the Spanish Inquisition she must hide her Jewish ancestry, and the bits of magic she uses to ease her days as a household scullion, to stay alive. When her ‘little miracles’ are discovered, her employers are careful to declare they are from God7 and ally with an ambitious nobleman in a daring scheme that they hope will take them all the way to the King. To prepare Luzia for a convincing display (that’ll end in either a palace or a prison) she’s put under the tutelage of Santangel, the nobleman’s shadowy8 servant who is an immortal familiar with magic, secrets and motivations of his own. As Luzia’s magic morphs into something untamable and her connection with Santangel grows in ways neither of them expected, she must find a way to claim the future she wants even if she must defy the King of Spain himself to get it.

I enjoyed this historical fantasy, especially because it was set in a time period I didn’t know much about and, like any good book, made me want to research further. There was something dark and severely sinister in Spain seeing itself as a ‘Holy Empire’ tasked with the mission of ‘seeing to the soul of the world’. Which meant they sought to kill that ‘heretic’ Queen Elizabeth and brutalize anyone they deemed enemies of their holy mission so realllllly taking spiritual abuse to the next level. The attention to language here was also fascinating with Luzia’s magic stemming from a fusion of languages of conquered people; a clever, energizing little spot of rebellion. “Language creates possibility. Sometimes by being used. Sometimes by being kept secret.”

Bardugo consistently creates terrifically realized and sumptuous worlds and this one is no different. Luzia’s initial life is beyond dreary and bleak and I appreciated that the couple she worked for weren’t wealthy so were also desperate for a leap in status which allowed the reader to really feel the awe along with them as they’re granted access to more and more opulent surroundings.

Luzia is a compelling, contradictory and layered heroine who hides her willful, witty and ambitious nature behind a mousey, docile exterior. Her small, impish rebellions and needling sense of humor were delightful and admirable, even as I feared the repercussions for such insolence. You cannot help but cheer (even as you bite your nails!) for her to escape her life of drudgery and the weight of all that imprisons her.

We’re given a few POVS here, including the mysterious and magical Santangel whose love for Luzia grows against his will which is always a pleasure to witness. I wished for a bit more of the slow burn, sexual tension build up but the romance was sexy and dramatic, with a few gloriously over the top romantic declarations which are also always a pleasure to read.9 There’s a magic contest framework here that felt a bit YA-ish, but nothing else added to that vibe so I forgave it. This is engrossing, suspenseful and, while violent and bloody at times, isn’t excessively graphic. It could read a tad simplistic at times but I appreciated the legend-like quality of the story telling which lent it a fable-like voice I often gravitate towards.

“But let it be my ambition and not my fear that seals my fate.”

Though I liked The Hacienda10, I didn’t much enjoy the author’s next book, Vampires of El Norte, as much as I wanted to. I thought there were too many plot holes, too few explanations and too often I wanted to shake the main characters.

I also was not a fan of Ali Hazelwood’s Bride which drove me fucking nuts. I found it slow, mostly boring, very silly11 with an egregious lack of world building. So little world building, in fact, that I was left confused about basic(?) anatomy. Rude.